Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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