those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I will pee on everything he values.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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