she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
