So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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