Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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