My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize