some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
