I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
