God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
