walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
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