I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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