this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
