where does the pee come out of this thing
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
A+ Viking dick
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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