Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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