is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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