Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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