I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
