pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
