These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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