Operation Purity has been aborted
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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