Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
