Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Is it because I queefed?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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