Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
