He is an equal opportunity slut.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
