worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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