Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
