im having a threesome with these popsicles
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the day after is always just damage control
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
