He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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