I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
