My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
