his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
