she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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