She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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