can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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