The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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