it wasn't lemon gatorade
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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