Already got asked if we're dating
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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