we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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