i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
they need to just BURY HIM!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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