Tell her she can't have a vagina
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
