but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
