I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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