i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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