Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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