I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
