OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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