wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
