Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
