I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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