Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
