I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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