Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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