that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
