What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
