Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
