I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
