Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
