This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
