You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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