She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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