Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
